- Why it’s hard to forget a loved one
- How to part a relationship
- How to overcome the completion of a relationship
- How to live on
Very painful and hurt when a lover informs about his decision to part. Ahead sleepless nights, a pillow wet from tears, a sense of own uselessness, rejection, exhaustion, a misunderstanding of how to live on. Nevertheless, surviving parting with a loved one is quite possible. Moreover, with the right attitude, many manage to draw from this crisis situation a certain benefit, to develop those or other personal qualities.
Why it’s hard to forget a loved one
Psychologists believe that whoever leaves is much easier than who is left. In addition, when parting with a loved one on his initiative, it is he who manages to adapt quickly and recover from bitterness and pain.
The reasons are simple:
- The former lover was the first to think and make a decision, it is not a surprise for him, as for the one whom he leaves. Some men need months or years to decide to break off the relationship and leave the former beloved woman.
- A man has experienced a significant part of the pain of parting, he has felt it better, therefore more calm and reserved, able to better control himself.
That is why the completion of a relationship initiated by a loved one causes a woman so much pain and suffering. At the same time, it is almost not important whether a man tries to soften the blow somehow or not. A special resentment and anger is the realization of the fact that a loved one no longer wants to continue with you.
How do we part?
женщины The feeling of emptiness, abandonment and bitterness of a woman is transferred in different ways.
Most of this causes severe mental suffering. The burden of parting with a lover is comparable to grief after the death of a loved one. Women feel anguish, loneliness, resentment, they reproach themselves for real or imaginary guilt, often they feel anger.
There are those to whom parting brings a certain relief, especially if the relationship began to exhaust itself and both felt the mutual cooling of feelings. In this situation, parting is justified and even necessary, because it gives an opportunity to understand the feelings, in a certain sense, to check the relationship.
AI Kuprin wrote:
separation for love – the same as the wind for fire: little love it extinguishes, and big inflates even more.
How to overcome the termination of relationships correctly
Negative consequences of parting with a loved one last about six months. To properly overcome this life crisis, psychologists advise to act as follows:
1. Suffer as long as necessary, to drink the cup of suffering to the bottom. It is important to understand that the negative consequences of parting can be experienced only when they are fully tested. If you try to convince yourself (not others) that nothing terrible has happened, there is a danger in the future to repeat this situation.
2. If before with your loved one you spent a lot of time and therefore did not communicate with friends and relatives, you need to restore relations. It is more common to meet with friends, spend more time with relatives.
3. If the pain of parting is particularly strong, it is worth asking for advice to a psychologist, girlfriends, chatting on the appropriate forum on the Internet. It is necessary to avoid this topic with a loved one, if it was possible to maintain friendly relations with him. Do not discuss the completed relationship with the man who, perhaps, appeared in your life.
4. Khandrit, staying whole days on the couch, experiencing depression – not the best way to forget your loved one. Organism in this situation will help the movement. It is worth more to walk, it is useful to do sports.
Performing physical exercises, you must try to put in sports the maximum of emotions and feelings, all your anger, resentment, anguish, despair and loneliness. In addition to the benefits for the psyche, physical education will help to look better, which will increase self-esteem.
5. The time that has appeared on overcoming the crisis is worth spending on oneself, beloved. This will help to distract from sad thoughts, will allow you to gain additional skills, expand your horizons, learn something new.
You can study a foreign language, read novels, which were not previously lack of time. Go to the cinema, the club, visit the beauty salon, go shopping, expand the circle of friends and girlfriends. It is better if they are not familiar with your loved one.
Experiencing parting with a loved one, psychologists advise:
- Do not keep the pain and resentment in yourself, give them an outlet. You are allowed to cry, shout, talk to yourself, show any emotions, do not shut yourself up.
- It is important to keep dignity, not to ask and not to beg your loved one to return. If there was an acute desire to talk to him, to speak out, it can be done, but only once, placing all the dots over the “and”. The conversation should be calm, without curses and insults.
- The spiritual devastation that is formed causes a lot of suffering. Some women, in order to alleviate their emotional state, produce short novels. Others lock themselves up, become angry, stop trusting men. Both extremes represent a certain danger.
How to live on
Parting with a loved one, like any life crisis, brings not only grief and disappointment. In this negative situation, it is possible to find undoubted advantages:
- First, , parting protects from fake ones or stops long-depleted relationships.
- Second , allows you to better understand people and life.
As you know, life is both sorrow and joy. Therefore, it is correct to treat parting with your loved one as part of life. And understand that he will be followed by a new meeting.
Rupture of relationships is often accompanied by a loss of self-confidence, especially when the feeling is very strong. The happened life crisis teaches you to overcome difficulties, gives an opportunity to develop personal qualities. Of course, we will have to learn something new, adapt to life without a loved one.
Gradually the pain of parting will pass, and at some point you will find that life goes on!