Pros and cons of a large family – how to each remain a person in a large family?



Pros and cons of a large family - how to each remain a person in a large family? According to statistics, there are not many families with many children in our country – only 6.6%. And the attitude in society towards such families in our time remains controversial: some believe that many children are a sea of ​​happiness and help in old age, others explain the “phenomenon of having many children” irresponsibility of individual parents.

Are there any advantages in a large family, and how to keep your personality in it?



The content of the article:

  1. Pros and cons of a large family
  2. A large family – when it can be called happy?
  3. How to remain a person in a large family?

Pros and cons of a large family – what are the advantages of having large children?

Myths, fears and contradictions in the discussion of large families – a great many. Moreover, they (these fears and myths) seriously affect the decision of young parents – to continue to raise the demography of the country or stay for two kids.

Many people want to continue, but the minuses of many children frighten and stop halfway:

  • The refrigerator (and not even one) is emptied instantly. Even 2 growing organisms require a lot of products every day – naturally fresh and quality. What can I say, if the kids four, five or do 11-12.
  • Money is not enough. Inquiries of a large family, even with the most modest calculations, are similar to those of 3-4 ordinary families. Do not forget about spending on education, clothes, doctors, toys, recreation, etc.
  • Search for compromises and maintain a friendly atmosphere among children is extremely difficult – there are many of them, and all with their own characters, habits, characteristics. We have to look for certain “tools” of education, so that the authority of parents among all children is stable and indisputable.
  • You can not leave your grandmother’s children for a weekend or a neighbor for a couple of hours.
  • Catastrophically there is not enough time. At all. For cooking, for work, for “pity, caress, talk”. Parents get used to lack of sleep and chronic fatigue, and the division of responsibilities always takes place according to the same pattern: older children take on part of the burden of their parents.
  • It is difficult to maintain individuality, and to be an owner simply will not work: in a large family, as a rule, the “law” on collective property operates. That is, everything is common. And not always there is an opportunity even for your personal angle. Not to mention “listen to your music”, “sit in silence”, etc.
  • Travel for a large family is impossible, or difficult. It is easier for families who can buy a big minibus. But here they also have their difficulties – things will have to be taken with them a lot more, food, again, increases in price according to the number of family members, the hotel rooms have to spend considerable money. It is also quite difficult to visit, to meet with friends.
  • The personal life of parents is difficult. To escape for a couple of hours – there is no possibility, leaving the children alone is impossible, but at night someone will necessarily want to drink, pee, listen to a fairy tale, because it’s scary, etc. The emotional and physical stress on the parents is quite serious, and it takes a lot of effort not to become strangers to each other, not to become a servant for children, not to lose credibility among them.
  • On the career of two, most often you can put a cross. Running on the career ladder, when you have some lessons, then cooking, then an endless hospital, then circles in different parts of the city – it’s simply impossible. As a rule, my father works, and my mom sometimes manages to earn extra money at home. Of course, when children grow up, there is more time, but the main opportunities have already been missed. Children or careers – what to choose a woman?

Someone will be surprised, but the advantages in a large family are also present:

  • Permanent self-development of mother and father. You want or you do not want, and personal growth is inevitable. Because on the move you have to adjust, rebuild, invent, react, etc.
  • When the baby is alone – it needs to be entertained. When there are four children, they occupy themselves. That is, there is little time for household chores.
  • A big family is more of a child’s laughter, fun, joy for parents. Older children help around the house and with younger ones, and also are an example for kids. And how much old age helpers will have a father and mother – and you do not have to say.
  • Socialization. Owners and egoists do not exist in large families. Regardless of desires, everyone comprehends the science of living in society, reconciling, seeking compromises, conceding, etc. Children from a small age are taught to work, to be independent, to take care of themselves and others.
  • There’s no time to bother. In a large family there will be no depressions and stresses: everyone has a sense of humor (without it, simply can not survive), and there is simply no time for depression.

Pros and cons of a large family - how to each remain a person in a large family?

The big family – what can be hidden behind a signboard and when it can be called happy?

Undoubtedly, living a large family is an art. The art of avoiding quarrels, managing everything, resolving conflicts.

Which, by the way, in a large family a lot …

  • Lack of living space. Yes, there is a myth that large families can count on expanding the area, but in reality everything is more complicated. Well, if you can move (build) a big house outside the city – there’s enough room for everyone. But, as a rule, most families huddle in apartments, where every centimeter of the square is expensive. Yes, and a grown-up older child can not bring a young wife into the house – nowhere.
  • Lack of money. There are not enough of them in an ordinary family, and even more so. It is necessary to refuse in many respects to itself, “to be content with small”. Often children feel deprived in school / garden – their parents can not afford expensive things. For example, the same computer or expensive mobile phone, modern toys, fashionable clothes.
  • On clothes in general is worth saying separately. One of the unspoken rules of a large family is “the younger ones wear out for the elders”. While the kids are small, there are no problems – in 2-5 years the child simply does not think about such things. But growing up children refer to “donashivaniyu” extremely negative.
  • Older children are forced to be a support and help for parents . But this situation does not always suit them. After all, at the age of 14-18 years, their interests appear outside the home, and babysit instead of walking, meeting with friends, their own hobbies, absolutely do not want to.
  • Health problems. Given that it is almost impossible to give time to the health of every baby (and just a baby), problems of this kind occur often in children. Absence of vitamins and a full-fledged diet (there is almost always a need to save), lack of the possibility to strengthen immunity in various ways (training, hardening, swimming pools, etc.), “crowding” of family members in a small room, the inability to constantly keep children in sight one fell, another knocked, the third with the fourth fought) – all this leads to the fact that the parents leave their sick leave very often. What can we say about seasonal diseases: one is sick with ARVI, and all the others pick it up.
  • Lack of silence. The regime in children of different ages, respectively, is different. And when the young ladies need to sleep, and the older children – to study, the kids from the middle age category frolic to the fullest. Silence and speech can not be.

Pros and cons of a large family - how to each remain a person in a large family?

How to remain a person in a large family – effective and time-tested rules of upbringing in large families

There is no universal scheme of upbringing in a large family. All individually, and each family has to independently determine for themselves the framework, internal rules and laws.

Of course, the main reference point remains unchanged – education should be such that children grow up happy, healthy, self-confident, and do not lose their individuality.

  • The authority of parents must be indisputable! Even taking into account the fact that over time, the upbringing of children is divided between older children, father and mother. The parental word is the law. Anarchy in the family should not be. How to build and strengthen their authority, moms and dads decide “in the course of the play” in every single cell of society. Also it is worth remembering that it is wrong to focus exclusively on the needs, interests and whims of the child. Power is father and mother, people are children. True, power must be kind, loving and understanding. No despots and tyrants.
  • Children should have their own personal zone, and their parents have their own. Kids should remember that here their toys can “walk” as much as they like, but here (in the parents’ bedroom, on my mother’s desk, on Papa’s chair) is absolutely impossible. Also, children should know that if the parents are “in the house” (in their personal zone), then they should not be touched, unless there is an urgent need.
  • Parents should pay equal attention to all their children. Yes, it is difficult, it does not always work out, but you have to keep up – with every kid, talk, play, discuss children’s problems. Let it be for 10-20 minutes a day, but each and personally. Then the children will not fight with each other for the attention of mom and dad. How to split equally the responsibilities in the family?
  • You can not overburden the duties of your children – even if they are already “big”, and are able to partially relieve your mother and father. Children are not given birth in order to throw off their education on someone else. And the obligations undertaken at the birth of another baby – this is the responsibility of the parents and no one else. Of course, it is not necessary to raise egoists – children should not grow spoiled sissies. Therefore, the “duties” can be imposed on their children only for educational purposes and dosed, and not because my mother and father once.
  • No less important is the system of priorities. We’ll have to learn how to quickly decide what to do immediately and quickly, and what can be put in general in a remote box. It’s irrational to take on everything in a row. Forces simply will not remain for anything. Therefore, it is important to learn how to make a choice. And he does not have to presume sacrifice.
  • No disagreement between mom and dad! Especially on the topic of intra-family laws and regulations. Otherwise, the authority of parents will be seriously shaken, and it will be extremely difficult to restore it. Children will listen to their mother and father only if they are one.
  • You can not compare your children. Remember, each of them is unique. And he wants to stay like that. The child is hurt and hurt when he is told that his sister is smarter, the brother is quicker, and even the younger karapuzes are more obedient to him.

Well, most importantly – create a family atmosphere of love, harmony and happiness . Nominal in such an atmosphere, children grow up as independent, full-fledged and harmonious individuals.

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