According to statistics, 4 out of 5 men walk from their wives. And only 1 of these 4, again, according to statistics, falls for treason. The statistics are disappointing, but we are not talking about the terrible change, after which the marriage collapses, but about the systematic “truancy”, without which a man can not (or does not want to) exist.
So, the husband walks – “where to run” and how to behave?
The content of the article:
- How to know that my husband started to walk?
- Reasons why a husband walks
- How to behave when a husband walks?
- How to make a husband not to walk?
How to find out that the husband started to walk – all the secrets and passwords of the walking husband
Naturally, the very first sign that the spouse began to walk is anxiety in the soul of his faithful. It seems that everything is in order, in the usual rhythm, but something is wrong.
There is a strong feeling that something is going on behind your back, and the husband continues to pat you on the shoulder, rappingly reporting – “everything is fine.”
And then other “symptoms” are beginning to manifest themselves:
- Suddenly appeared attention to its appearance. To make quality linen, socks without holes, perfume fragrance brutal train, a new style of clothing, etc.
- Changing the smell of the man himself. And it’s not about another’s feminine fragrance on his clothes, but about the new smell of a husband who usually changes when in close contact with another woman.
- Relations in the family change. There is a certain detachment and even indifference in communication, lost interest in what is happening in the family, at times there is irritation and nervousness.
- Intimate relations are becoming less and less often, and even come to naught , turning into a “watch passed, the watch took” or “plowed the shift at the factory.”
- Changing the daily routine and addictions in food. There are new manners, new intonations in the voice , from nowhere suddenly taken up habits and words.
- Money from the family budget flows in an incomprehensible direction. It is possible that the spouse simply saves you for a gift, and it’s foolish to panic, but if this sign appears simultaneously with the others, then the “gift” you obviously will not like.
- Delays at work until late hours and sudden business trips become “norm”. And on the weekend he always has urgent business (repair the car, visit an old aunt that you do not like, go to the gym, etc.).
- “Mobile” no longer lying around the apartment – now he is always next to the husband. And, most likely, password-protected. As her husband’s pages in social networks, e-mail, etc. When calls and sms-kah spouses behave nervously, and talk to “Tolyanom” or “Mikhal Petrovich” goes to the stairs or to another room.
Well, but about explicit absolute signs and can not speak. If someone else’s lipstick wears a shirt, smells like a woman’s perfume, the ladies “call to work” or, God forbid, the gynecologist has dumbfounded you with positive results for diseases that do not occur in people who are true to each other – no doubt.
Naturally, one feature from the list still does not say anything. And even 2-3 “symptoms” can be just a coincidence, not a clinical picture. Therefore do not panic ahead of time and do not bring your spouse to sin by groundless hysterics.
Maybe in the evenings and on weekends he works tirelessly to go with you to the Maldives or arrange a super-surprise for the anniversary of the wedding.
And the phone with the computer was stolen so that you did not see his preparations for the holiday. Why not? The reasons why her husband walks – is it always his wife’s fault?
Many women face a problem called “husband walks”. In some families, this problem leads to a divorce, in others – to a new round of marital relations.
But, before deciding how to be – it is necessary to understand the reasons.
- You saw it off. From the wife-saw man always escapes in search of easy and trouble-free relations. Let even briefly – to clean the stress, but it is necessary. It should be understood that if every day a teaspoon is consumed by a loved one, then in time it will “lubricate skis” to a nice quiet laughter that will not load it with anything other than borsch and cabbage rolls with sour cream.
- By the way, about borscht. The second reason is the unwillingness of the spouse to work at home. He comes from work, and you have a “creative mess”, unwashed months of the floor, his undressed and unshielded shirts, and the mouse hanged in the fridge. Although the money for food is allocated to you regularly. Of course, a man will get tired of the constant “let’s have dinner in a cafe today”, “forgive me, I can not sew a button – the manicure dries” or “my mother will clean up on the weekends, she loves it”.
- You do not satisfy him in bed. Well, that’s what happens. A discharge is needed. That’s … Or as in the saying “soup soup, but still a borscht sometimes you want” (that is, novelty in sexual terms).
- He self-affirms. A sort of alpha male who just needs “parties” on the side, so as not to lose the “male form”. Without adventure, “alpha” can not, and the name of such men in the people is simple – males.
- He lost interest in you. Because you always go with cucumbers on your face, in an old robe, ancient slippers and washed clothes. And he wants that you smelled of cornflowers, met him from work in stockings and stilettos, carnivorous kisses before leaving and generally behaved as they behave in a candy-bouquet period.
- He has problems with money or at work. And you are not able to understand and caress, saying “yes nonsense all this, we will cope”. Just shout that you need to buy a new tap, and that you are tired of this boiled sausage and an old coat.
- He has a period when “gray hair in a beard.” Most likely, it will quickly pass (if you find yourself a wise woman).
- You are too busy with children and can not recover after giving birth.
- He wants you to be jealous of him. Attempts to attract your attention and revive past feelings between you.
How to behave when a husband walks – advice of a psychologist to wives of walking men
First of all, of course, it is worth talking to her husband.
No, you do not need to wait with a frying pan, roar beluga and put ultimatums – too. The conversation should be calm and sincere, and only if you have 100% proof of his guilt, as well as the desire to save the marriage.
If there is no such desire, there is nothing to talk about, you can easily submit for divorce.
If you do not intend to let go of your husband, then read on …
- A wise woman can close her eyes to the “spree” of her husband , if these parties do not harm the family and relationships with his wife. Cocktails can be almost harmless – at the level of flirting: so it self-affirms and proves to itself that it is still an “eagle”, and not your well-fed domestic goose.
- Do not descend to hysterics and scandals. If you decide to step on your throat and survive this period next to him, then behave not like a beaten dog, but as a self-sufficient woman. Let him be jealous of you and afraid to lose. Just do not get carried away! Responsible “party” will lead to a break in relations.
- If the reason for you – change. Not for a day, but cardinally. Speech, of course, not only about the hairstyle, manicure and your smile in the morning. Remember what kind of a person you were when you started dating, and compare with the one you now see in the mirror. What has changed in you, you, you?
How to make a husband not to walk more?
Family happiness is a “thing” that is fragile.Families are built by hard daily work from year to year, with deprivations, compromises, anxieties, etc., and sometimes crumble in seconds. And then it is very painful to flip through the joint photos and regret that she did not step forward, did not yield, blurted out too much, could not forgive.
Does it happen that a husband does not walk? Strange as it may seem, yes. “Axioms” about the polygamousness of men are tales of unwise women or dissolute men who were not fortunate enough to meet their love.
But, if nevertheless “leaving left” happened , remember the rules of prevention of “men’s festivities” …
- Do not turn into a hen-hen, which, except for toddlers, sees nothing. Yes, it’s hard when the kids are small (and big ones, too), but your husband also wants attention. It is better to give him half an hour before you collapse face to face with a pillow than to listen to the sniff of his offended pride in the morning.
- Do not forget about intimate relationships. They need to be refreshed and updated regularly. Ways are a car and a small cart. Surprise your husband, sate with love so that he does not even want to look around. Well-fed (in all senses), the man will go home after work, and not at parties.
- Watch for yourself. Always. You even have to look at home, like a girl with a magazine cover. And first of all, you need it yourself.
- Get a rule: never look into his pockets, phones, wallets, laptop. Just do not look, that’s all. Imagine that he has all sorts of secret documents on work there and calm his curiosity forever. Thus, you will save yourself from unnecessary stress and unexpected “finds”, which it is better not to know.
- Do not block your husband’s oxygen! Stop interrogations with addiction, hysterics about being late for half an hour, etc. Instead of “where have you been, cattle?” You can ask “will you heat up the soup, dear?”. And if he looks tired after work, looks like a zombie and does not want to discuss your new grater for cheese, do not slam the door and run away in tears – open a bottle of wine, turn on a good movie and tell your husband how handsome he is, the getter and just well done.
- Be interested in her husband’s life. Support it. Be to him too a support, “shoulder” (if necessary), and sometimes a “vest” (men sometimes also want to sit behind a “cup of tea” and throw out all the boils). The wife-mistress and the wife-mistress is 50% of success, and the wife-friend is almost 100%.
- Always solve all problems at once and peacefully. Do not save them and look for a compromise. Get used to looking for the middle ground, so that both of them will be fine. Well, you know how to cede in the case when a compromise is impossible.
- Do not turn your spouse into a workhorse or part of the interior. A man must remain a man. You fell in love with him for that? Well then, let him be himself. No need to saw, break, re-educate, etc. Who is a real man and what should he be able to do?
And – advice “on the stick”:
Do not dissolve in the man completely. Never. No matter how much you souls in it, remain a self-sufficient and independent woman. You should not depend on his mood, financial situation and so on.
Life is unpredictable, and cases are different. If one day he tells you – “I’m leaving,” then it will be difficult enough to assemble myself into a bunch, considering that you all dissolved into it alone.
Therefore, leave yourself to yourself though a little.
Were there similar situations in your family life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!