The child has bad friends – what to do to prevent children from falling into bad companies?

The child has bad friends - what to do to prevent children from falling into bad companies? All mothers and dads dream of the best friends for their children – clever, well-read and educated friends who, if they will influence children, only in a positive way. But contrary to the aspirations of parents, children choose their roads. And not always on these roads they come across good friends.

Why do children choose bad companies, and how to get them out of there?

Article content:

  1. Which children’s friends are bad?
  2. How to behave to parents?
  3. What can not be done and say to a child?
  4. How to get a child out of a bad company?
  5. Because it is still possible to orient the child with the choice of friends up to 10-12 years, but as soon as a favorite child becomes a stubborn teenager, it will be extremely difficult to change the situation.

    It always seems to parents that they know best what kind of friends a child should have. And when dubious comrades appear, moms and dads rush to convince the child of his “shortsightedness” or simply forbid communication.

    However, not always a dubious friend is “bad” – and before “breaking a spear”, one should understand the situation.

    How to understand that the child’s friends are bad? By what “symptoms” can you determine that it’s time to change your friends?

    • Relations with friends have a significant impact on learning.
    • The child’s relationship with his parents began to resemble a “war”.
    • New friends add the child to anything illegal (sects, drugs, cigarettes, etc.).
    • Friends become for a child more important than a family.
    • Among the new friends of the child there were real hooligans or even children, who already “took a pencil” in the police.
    • Parents of new friends of the child were brought to criminal responsibility or are alcoholics (drug addicts). It is worth noting that children for parents are not in charge, and alcoholic children do not have to be hooligans and antisocial “elements”, but still have a hand on the pulse.
    • The child began to try something that is always forbidden (he smoked, drank, even just “tried”).
    • In the company of new friends, ideas that go against the law or with morality are propagated.
    • Friends constantly nudge the child for any extreme actions (even as a ritual of “dedication”). It is very important to look closely at such companies, especially in the light of the recent appearance of numerous “death groups” in which children are suicidal.
    • The behavior of the child has drastically changed (he became closed or aggressive, ignores his parents, hides his contacts and correspondence, etc.).

    It is important to understand that at every age the influence of “bad friends” affects the child in different ways.

    Different and “symptomatology” of the consequences of this communication.

    1. In 1-5 years children simply repeat one after another words and actions – both bad and good. At this age there are no friends, there are “neighbors along the sandbox”, from which the little one copies everything. The best response of parents to this situation is a quiet explanation to the child of simple truths about “good and bad”. At such a young age, copying each other, a pretty “parakeet” – a natural process, but requiring a soft and confident parental hand.
    2. In 5-7 years the child is looking for friends only one for him understandable criteria. Inveterate oboltus can choose for himself in comrades shy quiet, and a modest and quiet girl – screaming and unbalanced hooligans. Usually in such friendship, children compensate for their weaknesses, balancing each other. You can not influence friends anymore, but now is the time – to watch your child, to understand – who he is in friendship, leader or slave, amenable to influence from the outside. And having drawn conclusions, act.
    3. 8-11 years – the age in which “parakeetism” begins again, but not at all in the sweet manifestation, as in the case of toddlers. Now the children are choosing their own authority, absorbing everything that comes from these authorities like sponges, and copying them no less intensively than carp-boxes in the sandbox – each other. Do not limit the communication, but be careful. Now is the time – to direct the child in the right direction, to his own way, on which the child will not copy others, and other children will take the example from the child.
    4. At the age of 12-15 years your child becomes a teenager. And it’s up to you whether bad companies will bypass it. If by this time you managed to create a strong base for a trusting relationship with the child, everything will be fine. If you do not have time, start urgently.

    Why do children pull into bad companies?

    Even when children become teenagers, they still remain children. But already passionately want to be adults.

    They still do not know why, but they want to. And it is friends at this age that contribute to the acquisition of a new experience, which gradually changes the child’s consciousness to the consciousness of an adult.

    On how these friends will be, depends largely on how your child will grow up.

    Why do most children tend to be in bad companies?

    • The child is looking for authorities . That is, he lacks them in the family. He is looking for people to whom he will listen. “Bad Man” is always afraid, which means they are the first authorities for children, whom parents brought up “through their fingers.”
    • The child believes that being “bad” is cool, bold, fashionable. Again, the parents’ defect: they did not explain in time to the child that courage and “steepness” can be shown, for example, in sports.
    • The child does not find understanding in the family and is looking for him on the street.
    • The child avenges his parents , in principle communicating with the “bad” children.
    • The child thus expresses a protest , hoping that the parents at least in this situation will pay attention to him.
    • The child wants to become as popular as Vasya from the 5th grade who smokes behind the garages, boldly rude to the teachers, and whom all classmates look adoringly.
    • The child is not self-confident and is influenced. He’s just being dragged into bad companies, because the child can not stand up for himself and say no.
    • The child wants to escape from the tenacious parental “paws” , away from excessive care and concern.

    The reasons, in fact, are much greater.

    But it’s important to note that if a child has really bad friends from a dubious company, it’s the fault of parents who were not interested in his life, thoughts, feelings, or were too strict with his child.

    The child has bad friends - what to do to prevent children from falling into bad companies?

    How to behave and what to do to eliminate the bad influence of friends on the child?

    If the child is happy to come home, easily shares with his parents problems, feels confident and has his hobbies, interests, hobbies, independent of other people’s opinions, then no bad companies will not be able to influence his consciousness.

    If you feel that the bad influence on the child still takes place, then take note of the recommendations of specialists …

    • Negative experience is also an experience. As a toddler needs to make sure that his mother is “not allowed, hot!” It is quite real, on one’s own experience, so the older child should understand it himself. But it’s better if the child understands this before gaining a bitter experience – talk, show, give examples, include relevant movies and so on.
    • We question the child about a new friend (if, of course, it is really required).Do not say directly that he is bad, look for ways that will help the child to understand it on his own.
    • Involve the child with anything – if only he did not have time. Yes, it is difficult, and once, and there is no strength after work, and time is short, but if you do not make an effort today, tomorrow may be too late. It is advisable not to shove the child into useless mugs and sections, but to do it yourself. No friends can compare with the opportunity to spend time with parents on a picnic, on a hike, on a trip, on football or a rink, and so on. Share your desires and passions with the child , and you will not need to drive away bad friends from him, because you will be the best friends of your child.
    • Trust. The most important thing you should do is establish a trusting relationship with the child. That he is not afraid of your reaction, your irony, sarcasm or disapproval, or even punishment. The trust of the child is your insurance of his safety.
    • Be an example to your children . Do not use abusive words in speech, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, express yourself culturally, develop your horizons, do sports and so on. And adhere the child to the right way of life from the cradle. Looking at you, the child does not want to become like those strange peers who already at school age have fingers and teeth yellow from cigarettes, and among the words of maturity only sometimes come across cultural, and then accidentally.
    • More often invite comrades of your child to visit. And take them with you when you go for a walk and so on. Yes, it’s tiresome, but they will always be in your sight, and it will be easier for you to understand what your child is looking for from friendship. In addition, it may turn out that that “dubious tipchik” is quite a decent and good boy, just loves dressing so strangely.
    • Remember that you were also a child and a teenager. And when you put on a leather jacket and bandana (or pants flares and platforms, or whatever), braided your wrists and yelled with your friends to a guitar at night, you were not a “bad” teenager. It’s just a part of growing up – everyone has their own. Every teenager wants to stand out, and each generation has its own ways. Consider this before you panic and conduct a tough audit in the child’s wardrobe.

    In general, the main task of parents is to gently and imperceptibly direct their children to the right path without abusing their parents’ rights. That is, “power”.

    The child in a bad company – what can not the parents do and say to their daughter or son?

    In your attempts to reorient the child from “bad” to positive people, remember the following:

    • Do not force the child to do as you want . Correct the situation need to gently and imperceptibly for the child.
    • Never blame the child for all the mortal sins he allegedly committed. All his “sins” are only your fault. It’s not he who sins, you did not finish it.
    • Never shout , do not scold or bully. This does not work. Look for ways to “lure” a child with more interesting things, events, people, companies, groups.
    • No prohibitions. Explain about “good and bad”, but do not keep on a leash. With any leash you want to break. Just be there to have time to bed the straws. Hyper-guardianship has never benefited any child.
    • Do not try to crush the child with authority and commanding tone. Only partner friendly relations will give those results that you need.
    • Do not tell your child whom to be friends with. If you do not like his companions, lead the child to where he can find really good friends.
    • You can not lock a child at home, pick up phones, disconnect it from the Internet and so on. By doing this, you push the child to an even more radical action.

    The child has bad friends - what to do to prevent children from falling into bad companies?

    What to do if a child has bad friends, how to get him out of a bad company – psychologist’s advice

    The very first desires of parents when a child gets into a bad company are usually the most wrong. It is necessary to deal with the situation confidently and rigidly, but without scandals, embitterment of the child and gray hair on the parents’ heads.

    What if the beloved child multiplies all your beginnings, requests, admonitions, and continues to sink “to the bottom” along with a new bad company?

    If the above recommendations do not help you, then you can solve the problem only in a cardinal way:

    1. Change school.
    2. Change place of residence.
    3. Change the city in which you live.

    The last option is the most difficult, but the most effective.

    If you move to another city to completely exclude the child from communicating with a bad company, you can not find a way to take the child out of the city for at least a certain period. During this period the child must completely change his habits, forget his company, find new friends and new interests.

    Yes, you have to sacrifice your well-being, but if there are no more options, you need to grab for any straws.

    Remember that a bad company is only a consequence. Treat the causes, not their consequence.

    Better yet, do not allow these reasons. Attention to the child is your key to his happy life.

    Have you had similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!

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